melodaisy asked:

Just discovered your blog. Man, you are crazy talented!! Art, composition, and game development?? :00 that's amazing! Speaking of, project xadia looks so so cool, and I can't until it's ready to share!

So, about ttm: what did you think of rayla's decision at the end? And what do you think is in store for her in the future?

Thank you so much; that’s incredibly flattering, and I’m glad you’re interested!

Now, to your question — honestly, I feel Rayla’s decision is a very natural stepping point in the context of her greater arc. I felt so enriched in how the book’s story set it up, as well. One of the loud-and-clear themes governing this whole franchise is Rayla’s utter lack of self regard, juxtaposed with her overpowering drive for justice. The result is really horrific for her and those who love her, and its scope is FAR larger than she realizes.

Rayla frequently demonstrates that she will drop everything and pursue a task, if something about it hits her just the right way, making her feel like she has no other choice. The series even kicks off with the first instance of this — her decision to abandon her sworn mission of revenge against Katolis was impossibly immense for her, but she was nothing other than resolute. Against all her teachings and creed, she perceived it as true justice, and followed that feeling immediately. (It’s something of a grim irony in the face of how Runaan perceives her — in the grand scheme of things, she actually ISN’T hesitant at all…to a fault in the opposite direction!!)

It manifests in smaller events here and there — when Bait was being hunted by the river beast, Rayla quickly decided to subject herself to a living nightmare for someone she knew probably didn’t even like her. Because she couldn’t not do that.

A shining example is her attempt to free Pyhrra in S2. Rayla quickly set aside the very task she was so stringent about until then (returning Zym to his mother), something that jarred fans initially. As we see more and more of what churns at Rayla’s core, this was absolutely in line with her truest nature (and even back then, I feel that was already clear). Seeing Pyhrra consumed her; made her fixate on that injustice above all others. And because she doesn’t see consequence in her own death, she feels nothing stopping her from tackling every single instance of this herself, where no one else is endangered but her (in her mind). She also seems decidedly aware of the fact that she fixates and obsesses on these things more than anyone else might understand, which factors into her always keeping it bottled in, and resolving to only ever drag herself into the thick of it all. And this can only confuse her loved ones when she can’t identify the pitfalls of everything she’s internalized.

And that’s exactly why she did what she did at the end of TTM. It’s the only way she knows how to approach anything, and she’s good at convincing herself that there isn’t any other way.

This makes her future incredibly shaky and, — deliciously, from a writing perspective — destined for colossal pain, but also colossal growth. As noted by many fans, Rayla is carrying devastating trauma and operating on sorely neglected — or misconditioned — mental health. The truth is, it’s going to require some, or many, major revelations for her to start taking steps toward a different path. Because, as I think she knows, the path she’s on will lead nowhere but that incredibly familiar threshold — setting off to face danger alone, with her death likely (”Probably.”). If she doesn’t suffer through the growing pains of true introspection and understanding, she will eventually not make it out alive. And that’s why her future is unbelievably exciting…because in all likelihood, she will, and all of that heartbreaking, heartlifting progress is going to be laid before our eyes.

So yeah, I’m very confident that Rayla IS going to climb (in my degeneracy, very tempted to say “swim”) to a better place. She’s extremely clever, and she’s entered into a realm of people who will teach her all about the complex value of life, and just how precious hers is.

(Also, funny that you mention the “future”, because my newest Project Xadia story mode script — directly inspired by and sequeling TTM — delves into “future” in a very special way… ~v’)

Thank you so much for the ask!